Contrary to every thing you hear in the media, your life is not your personal possession to do with as you please.
If you’re a Christian, you belong to Jesus. You we were bought with a price – his blood – to no longer serve yourself, but him.
How are you doing with this?
If you’re like me, not so good.
I’d rather continue being addicted to myself. It’s easy. It’s comfortable. I’ve been doing it all my life.
I also like burrowing into my world of entertainment – my favorite TV shows, sports, painting, writing and photography. None of those things are sin in and of themselves, but when they push out Jesus in favor of them, then I have a problem.
And I push out Jesus a lot.
I can spend a whole day without thinking about him or talking to him.
I don’t do that with the people I love, but I do it with him.
I don’t keep short accounts of my sins with him either. I tend to bunch them all together at the end of the day, if I remember, and then confess them. When I think about it, that’s pretty stupid and laughable. What I’m doing is just discharging a duty without any heart work, and I know it and so does Jesus.
I’m reminded in the gospels, Jesus was not autonomous. He could have been. He didn’t need help from anybody, he knew who he was and where he was going. And yet he was 100% dependent on his Father, from what to say to people to what to do for them. “So Jesus said to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise.'” – John 5: 19
That dependency led him to the cross to die for me and you.
And I’m pierced through the heart.
I admit I fail miserably to live a dependent life. It’s foreign to me. But I don’t despair because I have hope. First, God makes me aware of my sin and depravity and I getting better at talking to him about it. Second, I don’t want to be like that any more and I tell him so. And third, in Christ I am becoming more like him. He’s doing the work he promised to do even if I don’t see it. “I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” -Philippians 1:6. And for that I rejoice!
Where are you on this road? Talk to me.
4 thoughts on “Living with a Broken Heart”
I’m slowly learning that to be dependent on God, we need to fully come to realize that He is our Daddy and we are to adopt a five-year-old type mindset towards Him. We need to allow Him to heal our pasts and emotions so that we use only Him to fill our emotional voids that we try to fill with things of this world, ie seeking approval of man, overworking, etc. When we are able to do that, then we will be able to rejoice and be so overflowing with the joy of the Lord. Getting there seems to be this tug-of-war journey between self-dependence and God-dependence. Keep casting your cares on Him and we’ll get there!
Cassandra, you’re so right. Thank you for the reminder! – Carolyne
That is so true of me too. Thanks for sharing this, and for letting me know that I’m not the only one with this problem.
Thanks Gene for telling me I’m not alone! Let’s continue to pray for each other. – Carolyne